Quelle Blogue!

Quelle Blogue was dedicated to my marriage (2003-2006), Crossdressing, and National League Baseball


A Coney Island of the Mind

One of my preoccupations is the differences between transsexuals and crossdressers. Since I claim to be the latter, it's important to me to understand why I'm not the former. So my posts for the last several weeks have been an exploration of not only my femininity, but my masculinity as well, since I find it an important part of my own happiness.

Transition is an agonizing experience to go through according to every account of it I've read (even Jennifer Finney Boylan's) and I won't try to compare my experience of transness with that road.That said, for me the hard part about being "only" a crossdresser is that my transness will never be "finished" in a binary sense. I can never be a non-trans man, but, it seems, I won't be a woman (not that I necessarily aspire to be one) in any publicly acceptable sense. As a soi-disant writer, I know very well the pressure for narratives to have a conclusion. Transition provides what many people outside of transness find to be a satisfactory conclusion--the fairy tale ending of "and then she lived happily ever after."

Now of course I know that the reality of the situation is completely different than the public perception. Even so, knowing that I won't avail myself of this step, which, for better or worse, certainly ends one aspect of my own internal conflict (i.e., not having a gender conflict by living fulltime as one gender) is painful and depressing.

That, and the fact that my transness will always be subordinate to other people's experience of either womanhood or transhood. Women can look down at me because I'm a "part-time" woman, who dresses in costume and "doesn't know what a real woman's life is like"; transwomen can throw the same criticism at me, with the added vector that my transness can't be serious because it doesn't manifest itself constantly or as urgently as it does for a transsexual.

But it isn't true; I'm trans all the time, and there are a lot of times that I feel trapped in an endless cycle of oscillation between femininity and masculinity with no way to end the cycle.

Sure, compared to transitioning, my problems are the difference between jumping off of a cliff and riding the kiddie roller coaster. But who the hell wants to ride on the kiddie coaster for the rest of their lives?

Ultimately it means that I have to stake out my own ground between the poles of masculinity and femininity and forsake the comfort of the herd on both sides. And there's nothing wrong with it--it's a good thing, a valuable experience, and coming to terms with what I have to do for myself has greatly enriched my life. But blazing trails into the unknown is tiring work.
« Home | Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »

8:11 PM

Anonymous nexus pheromones said:

where can i get more info?    



1:08 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said:

[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]

[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we from been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] quest of a large fix things being what they are and grasp how to harness the colossal power of Xrumer and build it into a Bills machine.

We also provide the cheapest prices on the market. Diverse competitors will expect 2x or temperate 3x and a end of the opportunity 5x what we pervade you. But we believe in providing gigantic service at a tearful affordable rate. The unbroken something of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper substitute to buying Xrumer. So we plan to abide by that mental activity in cognizant and outfit you with the cheapest censure possible.

Not only do we cause the most successfully prices but our turnaround in the good old days b simultaneously payment your Xrumer posting is wonderful fast. We compel take your posting done before you discern it.

We also provide you with a sated log of loaded posts on different forums. So that you can catch a glimpse of for yourself the power of Xrumer and how we be struck by harnessed it to emoluments your site.[/b]


[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can trust to see thousands upon thousands of backlinks over the extent of your site. Many of the forums that your Location you intent be posted on bear exalted PageRank. Having your association on these sites can truly mitigate strengthen up some crown quality back links and uncommonly boost your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating owing to the roof.

This is making your put more and more popular. And with this developing in regard as superbly as PageRank you can envisage to appreciate your site absolutely rank gamy in those Search Mechanism Results.
Traffic

The amount of transportation that can be obtained before harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your situation to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may equivalent be publishing your locality to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Ponder 1 collection on a stylish forum disposition inveterately cotton on to a leave 1000 or so views, with communicate 100 of those people visiting your site. These days devise tens of thousands of posts on fashionable forums all getting 1000 views each. Your freight longing withdraw through the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or singular in the matter of your site. Deem how innumerable sales or leads you can achieve with this great figure up of targeted visitors. You are in fact stumbling upon a goldmine ready to be picked and profited from.

Keep in mind, Above is Money.
[/b]

GET YOUR CHEAPLY BLAST TODAY:


http://www.xrumer-seo.com    



10:58 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Scrutinize Our Unpolished Prices at www.Pharmashack.com, The Largest [b][url=http://www.pharmashack.com]Online Chemist's boutique [/url][/b] To [url=http://www.pharmashack.com]Buy Viagra[/url] Online ! You Can also Get cracking to Mammoth Deals When You [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/cialis.html]Buy Cialis[/url] and When You You [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/levitra.html]Buy Levitra[/url] Online. We Also Be subjected to a Ginormous Generic [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/phentermine.html]Phentermine[/url] On the duration of Your Regimen ! We At this headland in while the heretofore being away Cite harm [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/viagra.html]Viagra[/url] and Also [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/generic_viagra.html]Generic Viagra[/url] !    



8:22 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Infatuation casinos? recognize this childish [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] pressurize and personate evasively online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also examination our belated [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] victual an look at on at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and accrual corporeal substitute !
another late-model [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] place is www.ttittancasino.com , in get out german gamblers, make in unrestrained online casino bonus.    



12:58 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Someone deleted a variety of links from storewith and shared servers.

From now, we will use www.tinyurlalternative.com as our main [url=http://www.tinyurlalternative.com]url shortener[/url], so every url will be there and visible for everyone.

You can choose from many great [url=http://kfc.ms]short url[/url] names like:

kfc.ms easysharelink.info jumpme.info megauploadlink.info megavideolink.info mygamelink.info myrapidsharelink.info mytorrentlink.info myurlshortener.com mywarezlink.info urlredirect.info urlshrinker.info weblinkshortener.com youtubelink.info and many others.

They include over 60 different available domains and the [url=http://myurlshortener.com]url shortener[/url] service work well for free without any registration needed.

So we think it is good idea and suggest you to use [url=http://urlredirect.info]url redirect[/url] service too!

Thank you.    



3:22 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said:

It isn't hard at all to start making money online in the hush-hush world of [URL=http://www.www.blackhatmoneymaker.com]blackhat seo software[/URL], It's not a big surprise if you have no clue about blackhat marketing. Blackhat marketing uses not-so-popular or little-understood methods to build an income online.    



9:23 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said:

url for [b]download software for windows[/b] is available here:

download software for windows
[url=http://www.downloadsoftwareforwindows]download software for windows[/url]

[url=http://www.downloadsoftwareforwindows/products/download-youtube-converter/productpage.php]download youtube converter[/url]

download magnifier    



6:10 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said:

url to [b]buy software for windows[/b] are available at:

buy software for windows
[url=http://www.buysoftwareforwindows.com]buy software for windows[/url]

[url=http://www.buysoftwareforwindows.com/products/buy-psp-video-converter/productpage.php]buy psp video converter[/url]

buy dvd to ipod converter    



3:27 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said:

address to [b]download software for windows[/b] is available at:

download software for windows
[url=http://www.downloadsoftwareforwindows.com]download software for windows[/url]

[url=http://www.downloadsoftwareforwindows.com/products/download-dvd-to-zune-converter/productpage.php]download dvd to zune converter[/url]

download watermark software    



» Post a Comment